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绝对不能欺骗他人(4)

我老爸的胡言乱语 作者:(美)贾斯汀·哈本


★ 论“跟其他小朋友玩”

“给我听着,我知道你讨厌跟那个小胖子玩,因为他妈妈很叽歪。但没品的是他妈,又不是那个小朋友,所以你要对他好一点。”

☆On Playing with Other Kids

“Listen, I know you hate playing with that chubby kid because his mom’s a loudmouth, but it’s not that kid’s fault his mom’s a bitch. Try to be nice to him.”

★ 论“分享”

“很抱歉,如果你哥不让你玩他的烂货,你就不要玩。那毕竟是他的。如果他想当个不懂得分享的浑球儿,那也是他的权利。你当然也有权利去当浑球儿,不过建议你平时还是大方一点。”

☆On Sharing

“I’m sorry, but if your brother doesn’t want you to play with his shit, then you can’t play with it. It’s his shit. If he wants to be an asshole and not share, then that’s his right. You always have the right to be an asshole—you just shouldn’t use that right very often.”

★ 论“公平竞争”

“作弊可没那么简单。你可能以为很简单,其实难得很。我敢打包票,你作弊的本事一定比你照规矩来的功夫还要烂。”

☆On Fair Play

“Cheating’s not easy. You probably think it is, but it ain’t. I bet you’d suck more at cheating than whatever it was you were trying to do legitimately.”

★ 论“玩具丢得到处都是”

“靠!我坐到你那个什么玩具货车了……擎天柱?管它叫什么玩意儿,离我屁股远一点!”

☆On Leaving My Toys Around the House

“Goddamn it, I just sat on your goddamned truck guy.... Optimus Prime? I don’t give a shit what it’s called, keep it away from where I like to put my ass.”

★ 论“睡衣派对”

“橱柜里有洋芋片,冰箱里有冰激凌,不准碰刀子,也不准玩火。好,说完了,我要去睡了。”

☆On slumber Parties

“There’s chips in the cabinet and ice cream in the freezer. Stay away from knives and fire. Okay, I’ve done my part. I’m going to bed.”

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[1]?巴甫洛夫的狗(Pavlov’s dogs):古典心理学的条件反射实验。喂狗的时候摇铃,久而久之,狗只要听到铃声就会流口水。


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