★ 论“在学校闯祸”

“你为什么要拿球砸别人的脸？……这样哦，那他活该被砸。嗯，老师不爽是他的事，我不会怪你。”

☆On Getting in Trouble at School

“Why would you throw a ball in someone’s face? ... Huh. That’s a pretty good reason. Well, I can’t do much about your teacher being pissed, but me and you are good.”

★ 论“圣诞节礼物清单”

“你竟然挑了二十五件礼物，还按期望程度排序？耍什么宝？我是问你想要什么圣诞礼物，谁叫你弄个人气排行榜这种鬼东西给我。”

☆On Making a Christmas List

“You ranked the twenty-five presents you want, in order of how much you want them? Are you insane? I said tell me what you want for Christmas, not make a fucking college football poll.”

★ 论“滑水道”

“要玩你自己去玩，我才不想滑进一池臭小孩的尿液中。”

☆On Waterslides

“You go on ahead. I’d rather not be shot out of a tube into a pool filled with a bunch of nine-year-olds’ urine.”

★ 论“自己准备午餐”

“一定带个三明治去学校，不准只装饼干和垃圾食物……不对，我的意思是，如果你想自己准备午餐，可以带自己喜欢的点心，但不代表你可以乱带一通。”

☆On Packing My Own Lunch

“You have to pack a sandwich. It can’t just be cookies and bullshit.... No, I said if you packed it yourself, you could pack it how you want it, not pack it like a moron.”

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[1]?《大奖换不换》（Let’s Make a Deal）：源于美国的电视游戏节目，参赛者要在三扇关闭的门中选择一扇，其中一扇门后有大奖（如汽车），另外两扇门则是“安慰”奖（如羊或猪）。参赛者决定好之后，主持人会在剩下两扇门中打开没有大奖的一扇门，再问参赛者要不要换门。